Home Less U.S. Military Veteran 5-31-09

Home Less U.S. Military Veteran 5-31-09
Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls Rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217
People talk but do they really see? This homeless veteran that I met under a bridge on the NH seacoast yesterday profoundly entered my mind. A brief encounter with a person whom appeared down on his luck. My facts may not be perfect but my need to convey this to anyone willing to listen. Daily my mind goes back into a place reliving life as a U.S. Marine. I see the face of the child that I killed, but even more so is the deep empty space that surrounds me as I sit complacent with death in a benjo ditch asking (why are we here)? I came back to enter the civilized society (a place that I have no memory of) that soon will be threshed upon me is unwilling to accept my kind as I stepped off the plane. Today, here under the bridge, I soon learned is a U.S. Veteran from the Vietnam Conflict. He married his high school sweet heart in his final year of college. I believe he was ROTC but that may be an assumption. He was a LT in the Army. He did a thirteen month tour in Vietnam about 5 meters from the DMZ. His daughter was born while on his tour. He came back, with an honorable discharge getting a good job and living life to the fullest. A few years back after his second child was born he started seeing his wife as a VC on and off. One day he just left believing that he might hurt his wife unknowingly. He has traveled across the U.S. working on and off trying to understand. He carries an old picture of a young lady, being his wife as he remembers her the day he left. He still loves and cares about her but never over the years went any closer than to see her from a distance as he watched his children grow. He gave up everything for the safety of his family with out telling a soul about his visions. People see this man as a bum homeless on the street.
I shared my take out last meal with this man as we talked. He came to NH because one of his grandchildren was now living up here. It was a bit of travel from the Midwest (where his wife is) for this now aging veteran but he wanted to see his grand child and family from a distance. Forgetting why I went to the coast I gave this man my last five dollars and left to go the bank. When I returned this veteran was no where to be found. I remembered later while thinking of this Veteran that suicide was my goal on the coast that day. I have everything any one could want in life except a memory of my child hood. Here was a U.S. Military Veteran that gave everything up for the safety of his family. Stereo typed as a bum he watches from a distance the family and country that he loves. No one knows or will even try to understand the difficulties that take over the mind of our returning U.S. Military even from todays wars and conflicts.
Society and the VA talk about preventing suicide among veterans, but do they really see what a returning U.S. Military veteran is?
Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi