Veteran’s dream is suicide 4-28-08

Veteran’s dream is suicide 4-28-08
Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217
I can’t remember but I believe today is the first time I see VA Dr Dan since I fired him. I like DR Dan even though I only met him because another VA Dr was so dedicated to the Veterans care above his own job security. You see the VA stopped my medical care for injuries that I received in the line of duty. I have been 100% service connected disabled since returning to the U.S. from a conflict in 1974. NH’s U.S. congresswoman Shea-Porter did not appreciate a letter to the editor that I wrote so she used my disabilities to teach me a lesson. I see it, the VA as a political move to get on the good side of Washington DC stopped my medical care. That is against the law. Dr Dan put my care above everything else and saw me even when under orders not to. The VA found out and placed a armed guard with in inches of me even when in the Dr’s treatment room. I wrote a complaint letter and delivered it to the VA office at 275 Chestnut St where a man that ID himself as the inspector general met me at the door. I was told by armed guards that my delivering a complaint letter to the VA was considered a crime and they will arrest me for it. The IG then told me “my committing suicide would be preferred before another letter”. The IG told me that my medical had never been stopped because I was seeing Dr Dan. One of my three disabilities is a head injury. I have no memory of growing up as a child. Was the VA playing with my head? This is why I fired Dr Dan.
The Newspapers will not write articles on what is happening to me. The news will not print my opinion letters. I for years was told Veterans never talk about what happen “In Country”. I lived daily for over thirty years with the flash-backs of what I did under the belief that I was a “Baby Killer”. You can never remove my memory of what I did as a U.S. Marine. I can forget most anything else except what I did. I do not feel bad or guilty for what I did. I dreamed of one day seeing the U.S. because while on my 31 months overseas I only had other Marine’s description because of my head injury. I came back to be spit on at the airport and called a “baby killer”. Now NH calls me a terrorist and takes my freedom. The VA stops my medical to help criminal NH government officials and the News refuses to inform it’s readers. Suicide! I never dreamed of it over there. I quickly learned that I did not belong in a civilized society back here. I did not belong among people that believe what I did was wrong. I learned to keep silent and I did for over thirty years. I now recognize what I am going though that our children returning from combat today are reliving my need to die. I have dreamed of suicide daily since I realized over thirty years ago that I do not belong. I relive the deplorable conditions and what I did every day. The Marine Corps takes our emotions, feeling, and will, to make us into killing machines U.S. Marines. Veterans return and society that expects we can regain what no longer exists.
I like Dr Dan and talking with him gives me hope. Not that Dr Dan can help me because to do so they would need to drug me. I would rather commit suicide than live in the U.S. with what little mind that I have altered to the VA thoughts. My hope is that some one will see the truth and tell the citizens of the U.S. Veterans are people also just we have been some place that you can not understand. My hope is that great Dr’s like these two can some how find a way to help the today’s returning Veterans. Hope is the public understanding that you can not understand. Hope is that what we did it for, you people back here will not let criminal elected officials diminish to benefit only a special class of society. Hope is that the news will learn that censorship hurts ever U.S. citizen and some day will hurt the news media also. I can not remember a lot of things but I can remember that the United States of America always comes first. Meeting Dr Dan I hope to remember as the first step to the U.S. remembering Veterans give so you can stay free.
Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi