Who am I 12-2-08

Who am I 12-2-08
Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217
Here is the eternal question of all time. “Whom am I” I am first of all a United States of America citizen. Natural Born and raised in the nation that I will give my life for. Can you imagine what it is like to wake up at 17 years old to have no memory at all and be a US Marine. I do not want to get into my 100% service connected medical conditions or that three of my four separate injuries come from combat related missions. I want to talk about how people can try but never quite understand what things that they have not experienced Are?? The biggest saying when someone found out that I have no memory is “That must be great, there are things that I wish that I could forget” Imagine not knowing your family, friends, or country. Get a grip on how it would be to, because of an Admin error; shipped over seas with no memory. Grasp the idea of killing or learning to kill as your first reaction to hostel encounters. TAD or transferred every few months to do missions in places that do not make sense. I could do things with no emotion or feeling because I believe what others told me was normal. I was a United States Marine with no memory or defeatist attitude. I knew no better. I learned to love the US (a place that I had no memory of) over my 31 months on foreign soil. I killed and felt proud before I have any memory of kissing my first “Round eyed girl”. Is the eternal question quivering in your mind yet?
Believing it normal for a female hippie girl spitting on me and calling me a baby killer as I entered the US, I thanked her. Believing silence of our actions over seas was the norm my experiences were kept with in me. I learned from my own experience over time by letting some conversations to divulged what happen, people’s reactions, rejected or plagued me as a liar and fabricator. A danger to society. For over thirty years I never talked about my trips (in my mind) back to where I belong. My first and biggest dream while serving as a US Marine was to some day actually see that what I only knew from other Marines conversations. The US! Some VA Dr’s have told me that I am not disabled, yet my medical records document it. My VA medical was stopped, yet I am rated 100% disabled. I do not act as a disabled person, yet I am 100%. The VA (person in charge) told me to commit suicide, yet society looks down on those that do. The newspapers reject my opinion letters, yet claim freedom of the press. The Boston Globe sends me an email telling me to commit suicide before sending another letter to the editor, yet history tells us that our government is based on “We the people” opinion. Judge Peter Fauver criminally violates the Constitution to help the Madbury NH selectmen get personal revenge by using government powers to harm local citizens the selectmen do not like, yet we claim this is wrong. The NH supreme court covers up these crimes, yet we claim the purpose of the Supreme court is to protect the people from government abuse.
Does the question ask you any thing? Did I miss understand what other Marines told me was the purpose of the United States of America. I ask this eternal question from my seat in the lead truck on convoy some where. The conflicts in my mind tell me that my coming back to the US alive will be wrong. The eternal question of all time WHY?
Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi