How do you do it what do you say 10-28-08

How do you do it what do you say 10-28-08
Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217
Kill your self or let the government do it? As a Sgt in charge that was a question someone would ask once in awhile. I did not understand! A Traumatic brain injury out of boot camp left me with no memory of growing up. I did not have any back ground to understand what they were talking about. Because of an admin error I went from the military hospital bed in NH, back to active duty. I served the next 31 months overseas in and out of combat areas and offensives during the Vietnam Conflict. I was in the Marine Air Wing. I did eight convoys as an American advisor. I supervised truck convoys of non-English speaking men delivering surplus supplies to friendly camps in Laos, Cambodia and Thailand. Now I under stand the conflict that made these Marines believe death was better than coming back. These hero’s understood civilized society could not under stand. I have three more injuries (combat related) from my tour. I honestly believe that dying over there would have been better than remembering. (now I get it)
My proudest moment as a Marine was my first kill. Now I can not stop remembering every day the face of that child as his life ended. I was scared and had been removed from a friendly village by three enemy. Taken to a camp a distance from the village, I was tied up, hit and mocked in a language that I only new pieces of. Two drank rice wine at the camp fire and the other walked the perimeter as guard. When the two fell asleep, I freed my hands and escaped. I encountered the guard in the dark. I felt scared but so good when I killed to get my M-16 back. I felt the pride of finally understanding that I passed as a U.S. Marine. I ran to a light in the sky as a marker to the direction that I thought the village was in. The light was a star and it was luck the light was in the proper direction. Society insinuates that my proudest moment was wrong. Every day this child’s face appear in my head. The pride still tingles as the need to feel something conflicts with being in a civilized society (guilt, anger, disgust) and the proud moment of a child becoming a U.S. Marine. Society tells me that I was wrong.
The newspapers mock this Marine as they once did over there. Society would rather take my military disabilities and assume what the government is telling you (that I am a danger and mentally ill) is correct. Against the Constitution these elected officials harm my character in the public eye to stop my free speech. I ran for NH state senate this past primary only to have the NH newspapers harm my character in articles to benefit my opponent. Judge Fauver criminally violated the constitution to help the Madbury NH selectmen get revenge on citizens the selectmen did not like. The newspapers are so biased that one newspaper (Boston Globe) wrote me asking me to commit suicide before writing another letter to the editor. To harm me the editor’s censor my opinion from the public refusing to print my response to what they are doing to me. There is no medical help for me because the VA stopped my medical care. The VA gives me token visits only to produce a record for public display. These are crimes against the U.S.
My proudest moment is being a U.S. Marine. A civilized society just can not understand what we are. Now I understand what those Marine were asking. It is to bad that the editors do not understand what we did it for.
Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi