Veteran’s Conflicts,-Violence 10-15-08

Veteran’s Conflicts,-Violence 10-15-08
Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217
Conflicts between what people tell you and what is real. I love how some write and tell me to get on with my life. Let it go. Take medication. What is real and what reality is. The VA stopped this 100% disabled Veteran’s medical. All my VA files are Red Flagged. I do not want your pity. I want you to think. Think how this veteran came back from a 31 months overseas tour during the Vietnam Conflict with no memory of ever being here before. Think how this Veteran’s four life changing permanent disabilities effect my daily life. Three of the four are combat related from separate missions. Can you imagine the conflicts of having no memory and returning from combat into a civilized society? Can you imagine the conflict of not knowing friends, family from others? Can you dream of what it is like to continuously remember killing others for freedoms that no longer exist back in the “world” U.S. Should I feel guilty or not? I want to feel guilty but there is only the memory of the cruel and desperate situation of living as a U.S. Marine. Conflicts of being the only American on convoy deep in the “bush” and having three others take you away during the night. Tied up, sitting around a camp fire having men you do not know poking you and laughing at you. Reality is with no memory you do as others said, “wait, when the chance comes escape at any cost”. Conflicts, do I kill and get my M-16 back or slip into the darkness and be gone? Do I try to live long enough to see the U.S. or give my life for her. Is it worth living long enough to go back to a country and live like this back their. For this is what I thought the world was like. A chance to survive here to gone back to live the same in the U.S.
I came back to the U.S. and started volunteering every day for what I had done. I volunteer every day helping any one that I bump into that could use a hand. I volunteer to help a Madbury family that only knew me from a letter to the editor that I wrote. Judge Fauver used the courts power to help the Madbury selectmen get revenge on people the selectmen thought did not deserve to live and work in Madbury NH. Freedom would exist only if the people have the right to correct the wrongs in government. The conflict is that the NH supreme court violated the constitution to protect Fauver. The elected state officials used the power of jail and law enforcement for intimidation to take my daily life. Conflicts do exist but how do I justify letting men under my direction die for freedom that is not here. Why do we fight on foreign soil for the illusion. Is this conflict in my mind?
I have followed the law and constitution to help this Madbury family as a volunteer. I ran for elected state office this past primary. Conflict is do the editors print the truth? My life has been to make life better for others. The news told of great things about the other candidate’s with one liners to turn the voters against me. The editors refuse to print my opinion letters because “they hurt people with good reputations”
Did I really ever come home or is this my punishment of living in torment because of what I did as a U.S. Marine for a country that I did not know? The reality is you back here just do not under stand why U.S. military kill them selves. The conflict is the people that never served have a chance to understand but do not want to. Is this conflict in my mind or has the Constitution diminished to a worth less piece of paper.
Laying here in a benjo ditch should I kill my self or let the U.S. government do it?
Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi