school child's suicide

Suicide Ask Why? Child or Veteran 10-18-08
Peter Macdonald 465 Packersfalls rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217
This civilized society just does not want to understand. A woman sues the Raymond School for her sons suicide. A judge dismisses the case. The school stereotyped the child a trouble maker and pressured the boy. No one wanted to recognize the systems of suicide. The only way to make a situation public is to sue. The editors see little profit in telling news of the “little people” average citizen. A judge looking out for the public officials dismisses the case leaving justice discriminatory. The editors now see a profit so they publish the facts late. Editors censor and edit the people’s opinion.
I am a 100% disabled Veteran wanting to die every day since I came back in 74 from the Vietnam Conflict. I write a letter every day describing my turmoil with the criminal acts the Veteran’s admin and NH government is doing to Veterans. The pressure “(not every veteran) returning veteran’s unknowingly get from society by the innocent comment or attitude on what society believes the U.S. Military do. We come back some disabled and others just slide back into society. Society forgets or can not realize that the memories of what we did slowly return. Even the Veteran is unaware these demons are changing what we see and do. The brutal defense of survival that we learned by living in dirty, sub-human conditions where life comes and goes with the movement of a finger or the mind numbing explosions around you. That innocent child that left years earlier no longer exists. Society recognizes the image of a Veteran but can not understand the symptoms of why we need to die. My VA file is Red Flagged, what does that tell you.
Last night at the dinner table I learned that my family’s friend’s ex-husband killed himself a few months ago. The subject came up because my wife was talking to our kids about my friends son’s (with this man) mental break down since the suicide. Suicide disrupts a lot of people’s lives yet society refuses to recognize the signs or understand the persons need to die. I can see the hurt my death will cause my family and this is one of many reasons that I have not died so far. The editors refuse to print the opinion of the little people until it will produce a profit. How do we the people that make the U.S. what it is “understand”? How do we tell the courts make justice for us not just them? How do we elect people that will work for the people versus their own legacy?
I lost my complete memory (it never came back to this day) from an accident just out of boot camp. I lived the next 31 months in and out of combat over seas during the Vietnam conflict with this head injury. I came back with three more life changing disabilities from separate combat related missions. I went to the VA last week because of serious head and body pain. My VA medical was stopped for political reasons and restarted (sub-standard) so that the record can document that I receive medical care. At this appointment I was referred to a civilian ears, nose and throat doctor. There is nothing wrong with my ears, nose or throat. Congress woman Carol Shea-Porter interfered with my VA medical to help NH cover up Judge Fauver’s criminal acts of intentionally harming U.S. individuals. The NH Supreme Court covered up Fauver’s crimes. The Madbury NH selectmen used the courts to discriminate against local citizens for personal revenge and Fauver used the courts to protect these criminals acts. The newspapers refuse to print the opinion of the little people so where does a 100% disabled Veteran go? Civilized society does not want to recognize or understand Veterans came home different than when we left. I came home to a place that I do not belong. I have volunteered every day as a way to thank U.S. Military Veterans that never did come home. I learned how to be what I thought was a good U.S. citizen. I do not violate the law. I help others (whether I know them or not) every day. We kill our selves (over there and when we come back) because we realize we do not belong. I should never have come home.
Do you see that I am telling you from my heart why? Society does not want to understand. I know that the VA, Police and a bunch of other court and government personal will harass me because of this letter that will never be published. The act of death can not be stopped. You can try to understand why and prevent it in others. Society can never grasp the magnitude of what we did. Can you understand what it is to kill for a country that questions your actions. Imagine standing in front of a F-14 doing 600knots stopping with in 15 feet of you. May be 40 or 50 times a day and surviving. Imagine having hung ordinance break free, bounce down the runway and hit you. You get up and stand in front of the next returning aircraft. How about the A-6 breaks the deck pennant which snaps your point man in half yet you have to assign another in seconds to complete the mission. Understand what it is like to be the only American on a convoy with foreigners and no one speak your language. Imagine life in the Bush at a friendly village spending the night trying not to close your eyes so you can witness your death. Can you imagine a 17 year old U.S. Marine living 31 months like this and returning to a country that he does not remember because of the Traumatic brain injury.
The citizens that never served do not want to understand. Lock us up or leave us on the street home less and hungry. Refuse us medical or take it away. Society has no use for the Veteran that returns, any more. The U.S. military personal taking our own life is not suicide it is a way we try to keep you from seeing what we have become. A child dies, while the civilized society rationalized the news until it is their own child. What has the United States become?
Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi